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Thursday, June 3, 2010


Yesterday, we had a nice short storm, it reflected my mood at that time perfectly..Anger. I was so angry and heartbroken that I just wanted to scream and hit something. I found out that my wonderful, beautiful cousin, who is so full of life and love has cancer. That in itself is a horrible thing, but what makes this even worse, her 15 year old son is battling cancer at the moment as well. How fair is that? What kind of God heaps that kind of grief on such a wonderful lady and her child? I was mad, hurt and crying like a baby in short a mess. I went down to my husbands office crawled up in his lap and cried. He always has this way of calming me down just by being there. When I was done crying the anger set in full force. The storm hit about the same time. Very fitting.

I wish Cancer was something that could be invited into a boxing ring, because I would love to beat the heck out of it. But I can't fight this battle for her or her son. If I could I would. After a restless night, I was courious about what my cousin must be feeling, I figured that if I was mad and if I was hurting what must my cousin be answer came this morning when I logged onto my Facebook and saw her simple words..."I got this." meaning no worries she will beat this thing. See what I mean, she is a positive loving woman, full of life. The reality is, she has to fight this thing for herself, but having the love and support of her friends and family will be a big help I'm sure, or at least that is what I am hoping. I fully intend to be there for her, to be in her corner rooting her on and supporting her while she deals Cancer the one-two punch followed up by a nice Hay maker..maybe a few jabs and a nice right hook, because she IS going to beat Cancer.

The question I had concerning what kind of God would do this to such a wonderful woman..well I came up with an answer. God didn't do this, but he is right there with her. I also figure that bad things happen to good people because good people are strong enough to handle it. It takes strength to be a good person. You put others before yourself, and you take the time to do the right thing. It would be so easy to be a bad person and just be nasty and only think about yourself, and to just do the easy thing which isn't always the right thing. Good people have strong character, while bad people don't. Good, bad or in between me and my cousin.."WE GOT THIS!"

Monday, April 19, 2010

23 Years Just Flew By.

Today my oldest son turns 23!  Wow!  I went to bed last night thinking about his 23 years.  It's funny how I can remember  the moment he was born, how it felt to hold him for the first time. Now he lives far away from me and yet he is still close.  He has been through a lot in his 23 years.  Stitches from his rough and tumble years. Sports, he had one heck of a fast ball.  Girl friends, which is still an on going journey for him. (lol)  He survived my divorcing his father. He survived the loss of his baby sister and even spoke at her memorial service.  He took his time deciding what he wanted to do with his life, but now that he has a goal in mind he is in college and pulling straight A's. 

He is my rebel child. He smoked and got into some trouble in his teens. Nothing serious, but bad enough to make me worry.  He was very stubborn about his smoking and it seemed the more I tried to stop him the more he smoked.  Now he is a non-smoker.  He gave it up on his own. 

He is learning about horses and works with them a lot now. He is friends with a young lady that owns a horse, which might explain his interest in them. (lol) 

He is an adventurous spirit, stubborn, handsome, intelligent, compassionate, talented and giving.  I'm very proud of my son and can not wait to see what his next 23 years will bring to his life and mine.
 After all 23 years passes by in the blink of an eye.